Don't come for the service. Other than that the fajitas are good. "I mean, who wants to eat chiminichungas next year?" (Try the chiminichunga too)
(3)
Ryan G.
First thing about this place: Great mexican food. Really. And late night. I even went for the mexican steak last time cuz I was so impressed with the basics the time before and mucho bueno. Great guac and salsa. It's now all pretty inside - If not for the lovely clientele and the location in the middle of seed on colfax you might not call it a dive bar. The bar can be entertaining late at night, but it's really just a long bar of people sitting. The split side of the bar is just private booths - good for friends or dining. ie: not really a bar with people walking around being rowdy and social. You go there to drink. Or eat.
(4)
noah z.
Bartenders look like they might be carrying some sort of virus. Except Janeen she's great! Very scary. Chicken tacos are good but way over priced. If you like the old cap hill skank vibe. You've found it. Pete needs a major overhaul on this place, mainly bar cuz Joey is cool too. This is the def the place to see your generated homeless contribution being spent by local drunks. They take petes recipes, so they're good for diner style short order cooking. One place in the hill that won't cut you off. If your a dude bring a rain coat;) and double it up.
(2)
David J.
I love this place. The first time I was here was with some denver cops when I was on a ride-a-long in the early 90's. Half way through the meal, a newlywed couple pulled up in a limo and demanded free drinks at the bar, which were refused. Years later I saw this place on a list of bars that Tom Waits would visit or had visited, so I had to go back after a 6 year stint in the service. Strange happenings here for sure. That's why I visit, not so much for the food. I am tempted to tell stories, but doing so may implicate myself and others
(4)
Sadie S.
What can I say? Satire has been a cool spot for my girlfriends and I for a couple of years now. We spent a night in Denver this last weekend, and always hit Pete's Kitchen, as a tradition, when visiting from the Western Slope. When we woke up Sunday morning, Pete's was on our minds, as well as a mimosa. We stopped in to Satire and plopped ourselves at the bar... ~ Heather was bartending, and she was awesome cool. Mimosas for all, and great tunes. It's a friendly neighborhood bar/restaurant that we will surely go to again. Now that we know we can order from Pete's Kitchen, which is located right next door, we'll be hitting the Satire for breakfast and mimosas! There's a little grey haired older gentleman who visits the place, and he gets into the Blondie tunes on the jukebox. Also, it's rumored that Bob Dylan played in this joint back in the 70s, passing thru town. Very cool, 50's decor with a fantastic jukebox.
(4)
Bo B.
We went here during a Saturday night bar crawl. It was fun. It's been completely remodeled. We only had drinks so I can't comment on the food. The beer was CHEAP = 2 budlights & 2 micros for $7! You can't beat that.
(5)
Tim C.
Didn't have the food...drinks were sorta pricey and the old hag who called herself a "patron" can keep this smelly shitehole to herself. She was totally rude... On the flipside, the service was great, but this place seems like it's in need of an identity.
(2)
Corrine C.
Servers here have a quick wit and a special charm. Drinks are poured heavy by a lovely barmaids. Food is delivered with charm and humor. Most of the food is good here. Anything with green chili is good and is served with a mountain of cheese. If you like spicy try the Mexican steak or steak tacos. Avoid the relleno sauce and you will enjoy every meal you eat here. Oh and this place is great for people watching, because so many interesting characters visit regularly.
(4)
Kathy J.
I have eaten in numerous mexican restaurants since coming to Denver but I do have to say this is the best so far. Decor is very old but the service and food was awesome. It is definately on my list of where I will go again.
(5)
tim r.
I hate that my first review is of the Satire, but I was egged on by David T.'s review. I left Denver in '86, but from about '78-'83 I was a regular in that dark/dank den of iniquity, and lived close by. I played on the softball team. I ate there little, but did date a woman who wore a tee shirt stating "this plate is hot" on the front, "have a nice time" on the back. Imagine, I forget her name. I left Denver in '86, and have only now returned. Briefly, permanently, I've yet to figure out. I went on a nostalgic trip into the way-back machine a few weeks ago, and was troubled to see the walls and ceilings are no longer black. Instead, a blinding white. How does one hide or fantasize in blinding light? No hostess, nor Pete, greeting you at the door. I'm afraid now that the Satire, like Phoenix, AZ., has no reason to be. For me, anyway. I ate, but I'm sure the taste of the food was influenced by the taste of the decor. Certainly not bad food, nor service, but sometimes when things change it is not for the better. I hope they are thriving, it's a tough business and Pete's always done well. I guess I've just moved on.
(2)
Paul G.
Nasty Nasty Nasty. The "Passport" is a cheap margarita with a Coronita (a mini Corona) turn upside down INTO the margarita. I mistakenly had one, then puked 5 times and slept on my bathroom floor. If I remember right, the food was nasty, too.
(1)
Stephanie L.
Satire lounge seems to have an identity crisis. It doesn't know if it wants to be a hip lounge, sports bar, or Mexican restaurant. I will say that it is very clean and modern inside (include the restrooms- yeah!) The food is just okay: Margaritas from a mix with some tequila I've never heard of, tortilla chips are from a bag, salsa is poured from a big plastic jug, and the guacamole can barely pass as such. The nachos were good though and were satisfying for my late night hunger.
(3)
Jeremy H.
The only reason I remember the last time I was here is because I had a $50 tab in my wallet. $50 is quite an accomplishment at the Satire and I'm assuming that I had a good time like all the other times that I've ended my night here. They serve booze right up until 2am and the staff is pretty good unless it is a new girl. If you are attempting the Colfax Crawl, you have to stop at this place near the end.
(3)
Penelope W.
Wow, this is a Mexican restaurant? Well sure, but it is also a dark and seedy red-velvet-esque lounge. Came here on Sunday for a G and T,didn't know it could be so dark at this hour. I imagine many people become discombobulated at this darkness from morning to night : ). I'm pretty sure my company and I were the only females, well, except for the bartender; she says she had the same shirt as me : ) Allegedly, Bob Dylan played here ages ago and I am not surprised. I don't see how anyone could resist The Satire Lounge; It's a lounge for any occasion. Even other friends I met on Colfax this day wind up here. Probably a good choice to meet bachelors, Ladies. The are here and they are available. Insite Denver's Best 2002 Historic Bar. Red bar lights, no sun light, fun toons, old style peeps, drinkin' on the Sabbath.
(5)
Jeff G.
I've been going to the Satire since 1981, though not so often now as when I lived right around the corner. To my mind the place has cleaned up a lot since then. There was a major renovation to the dining room somewhere around 1990 and the place became a bit nicer, if less colorful. The bar has stayed pretty much the same, and I don' t know what they'll do when the "this plate is hot" guy retires. Good green chili and southwest staples. Cold beer. Not so much a dive bar as it once was, but you do get some characters in there still.
(3)
Sarah E.
Great spicey mexian food. The booths have much to be desired- I don't really care to sit on a duct taped hole. The bartenders are cute and friendly. I've never had a bad drink. They like to make up their own shots and have you test them. :-P
(5)
Jordan F.
My girlfriend and I were looking for a decent, local Mexican restaurant and the majority of the reviews were excellent, so we decided on Satire. At first glance, it looks like your typical dive bar on Colfax. But upon entering, the Satire Lounge becomes something completely different. Weird, modernized chairs, stainless steel counter tops...just strange in general. Overlooking their furniture, we sat ourselves in a booth close to the entrance. Our waitress was very polite and let us know they didn't have a drink menu, or drink options on their food menu (??). We decided on the pitcher of house margaritas and chips and salsa to start. And then the experience went downhill. The pitcher came out.....it was the size of a mini flower vase, and mostly filled with ice. I heard they had pretty strong drinks here, so I was trying to stay positive. But then the "margaritas" tasted like sweet and sour mix, lime pulp, and a splash of Juarez tequila. Whatever...moving on. I ordered a build your own combo plate with a cheese enchilada, a fried relleno, and a chicken burrito. Now, when it comes to Mexican restaurants in Denver, I always order a crispy relleno because that's my favorite and I usually won't go back to a place with terrible rellenos. Let's just say their relleno was sub-par at very best. The menu offered different varieties of their burritos; shredded beef or chicken, bean, or sour cream. When reading this, it appears as though I would have a choice of shredded beef or shredded chicken, which is why I ordered the chicken. Cheese enchiladas are really hard to mess up, and mostly taste good, as long as the cheese melts. When my plate arrived, it was covered in cheese. I'm going to guess at least a half pound of cheese was in/on my food. I usually enjoy cheese, but this was just...too much. I tried the enchilada first, knowing that if I waited too long, the cheese inside would harden and become inedible. Well, all that cheese, inside and out, probably helped the taste of the enchilada. I tasted no enchilada sauce at all. Nor did I see any. That would explain it...Next, I tried the relleno. I prefer mine wrapped in an egg roll paper, stuffed with Monterrey Jack cheese, and deep fried. But I am open to trying new things. Theirs was stuffed with the same cheese that doused my plate, battered, rolled length wise in bread crumbs, and deep fried to an overdone and dry crisp. One bite, and I couldn't eat anymore. Ok, let's see about the chicken burrito. I moved a section of cheese out of the way (I'm serious about how much cheese was on this plate), and cut a bite to eat. Instead of finding shredded chicken, I found cubes of what seemed to be canned chicken meat. And tasted accordingly. I picked a little more at my enchilada, and saw the mound of fries on my girlfriend's plate (she ordered the mexican hamburger, no complaints). Their green chile tastes pretty good so I was dipping her fries in my chile so I wouldn't feel like the jerk that refused to eat her food because it's terrible. I looked that the pile of pork I was trying to fit on my french fry, when I saw a long, black hair rise out of my green chile with my fry....and I'm done. The waitress apologized profusely and removed my meal from our bill. When the bill arrived, I found out that the mini pitcher of sweet and sour mix was $17. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? Sorry, I will never return here.
(1)
Amanda S.
I have been here a few times, and am always very satisfied! The chips and salsa are muy bueno. We went here again last night, I got the chicken chimichanga, it was delicious and I got to take home leftovers yum! I like that you have a choice of either black beans and corn or refried beans. My fiance got a combo plate (shredded beef burrito, chile relleno and refried beans) He decided that the relleno tasted more like a jalapeno popper (it was fried). But everything else was delicious besides the relleno (and we loooove rellenos!) Overall, the food is good & affordable, and decently priced margs ($5). The service was also excellent!
(4)
Brian C.
Have been going to the Sat for decades but over the last months have been extremely turned off on Friday nights by the self promotion of the bar managers band and attitude - disheveled rude and arrogant & not what a manager should exude - the entire dinning area is encompassed by his band & so loud that conversation is impossible - walked out numerous Friday nights with group of 8-10 other people and won't be back until the customers considered 1st & the manager's self promotion 2nd - hope Pete will read this & make some changes - bartenders are good as is Joey!
(1)
Gabrielle S.
Had been here xx years ago. Was really good. Now I live right down the street. Let's be honest-one visit to the next, you never know what the clientele will be. Very interesting people. Don't come here if you're a suburb person and afraid of what you might "run into" in the city. Since Senor pepe's closed I've been trying to find comparable food close to home. So far, this is the closest I've come. I am sure, as another reviewer wrote, this stuff is probably frozen and then "flash heated." I like the chili rellenos and I always order the refried beans. The booze is good. Margaritas are ok-like the fake jukebox they have. Always entertaining because you will find all types of people there. Service has been great every time I've been there. Having lived in Vegas for a while, the folks who hang around here are ok compared to the STRANGE people everywhere in LV! G. Simon
(4)
Anthony S.
Drinks - cheap and decent. Food - awful and awful. Granted this is a divey spot that serves Mexican food so I should probably blame myself for ordering chile rellenos at 11:30 pm on a Saturday night. On the other hand, this food was terrible. Honestly, my guess is that prepackaged food is purchased here and then placed on an oven safe plate until the plate is "finished". Dead giveaway is the fact that our plates were about 350 degrees to the touch. Our bartender warned us, but you know us men like to find things out the hard way sometimes. Anyway, come here for a drink. Stay far away from the food - I doubt Bobby D ate anything when he played here.
Sad, you can't go back home again I guess. I went back, not for the drinking or the night life but for the amazing chili rellenos they used to make twenty years ago. I noticed now that they don't even appear on their online menu. Not only are they not made the same way they used to, breaded and deep-fried but the sauce was ghastly. The sauce had an extremely vinegary taste that to me didn't resemble any kind of Mexican sauce I have ever had. The Chili's himself's were bland very tough. Guess it's time to learn how to make them myself.
(1)
Sasha L.
A little back story, this place was started by Pete Contos, a Greek guy who came here with no money to his name but big ambitions. He started this restaurant in I believe the 60's, after being a dishwasher and bartender during most of his youth. He didn't have much money to start it so he went in with a partner. It was one of the first places born on Colfax with an intention to fix up the area. Many rockstars hung out around here during this time (my dad is familiar, they are all obviously before my time). He had many nights of disruptive, rough customers. He later went on to open Pete''s next door and then several other restaurants on Colfax and the south Denver area. He is about 85 years old now. He is truly an example of the American dream and how hard work can pay off. He also paved the way for improving Colfax. My dad, brother, and I are regulars here. The service is generally consistently pretty good, especially when we get a server that recognizes/remembers us. They know our order without us having to say anything. That means a lot and makes us feel consistently valued as customers here. Our last visit was HORRENDOUS. We came on a holiday, I think Christmas Eve or sometime during early lunchtime. There were several patrons and one blond server. She was pretty but had a BAD ATTITUDE. She took FOREVER to greet us and rolled her eyes several times at us. She was complaining one of the waitresses called in. We were understanding, that would really suck and obviously will slow down service, but that is no excuse to treat us poorly, it's not like it was our fault. When I got a burrito with an enchilada on the side she gave me this wide eyed bitchy look and said, "That's a lot of food!" umm, sorry? I'll be sure to order less and tip you less. She was so unpleasant and awkward it really interfered with enjoying time with my family whom I don't get to see enough. If I wasn't so familiar with this place, I would give it one star, and call Pete to insist on firing this dreadful woman. This was the only time she has waited on us though (thankfully) and hopefully I never have to see her heavily painted face again. This is the reason for a lack of a star ANYWAYS. The burritos here are great. We tend to go for the smothered chicken and sour cream burritos most of the time. Enchiladas are small and have the same sauce as the burritos (wish they did enchilada sauce on these instead of green chili though). The chicken chipotle is phenomenal! The service is usually good, we just came at the wrong time when someone had the wrong attitude. This place has a lot of history. I have tons of respect for the owner. The food is a good value for what you are paying, and they keep the free chips & salsa coming. Me, my dad, and my bro will be regulars here forever. I love sharing this place with my incredible family.
(4)
Josh J.
great drink specials, I got a salty dog for a buck 75. Can't beat that price. Did not eat there though. I would say it had a neighborhood bar feel. This place is best for those who live within walking distance. Not sure I would bother getting in my car to head there. Homeless hangout? I will try the food sometime before I give a final judgement.
(3)
Libby B.
I had a shredded beef burrito platter that was pretty tasty. The reason for only 2 stars? Service was lacking even though it wasn't very busy. Our server didn't refill our water cups once even though I'd drank half of mine before we even got our food. But the worst part was our beverage... One house margarita was $5 whereas a pitcher was $17. My boyfriend and I, wanting to enjoy our Friday night to the fullest, ordered a pitcher which amounted to about 4 margaritas each. Yes, 4 margaritas EACH - and tequila usually hits me fast - but after those 4 margaritas, we were looking at each other like "What's up with the Mormon bartender?" because I'm not convinced there was any alcohol in that pitcher whatsoever. (Sorry to our LDS brethren - 'tis a joke.) Once at home and fully realizing that our bellies were chock-full of kool-aid, my fella decided to (politely) give feedback about the wretched margaritas to the manager on duty. She was happy for the helpful info and handled the situation well but being that our first experience here was so surprisingly disappointing, we don't ever plan to go back.
(2)
Fred F.
Surprisingly good mexican food for a bar in Denver. Some of the best people watching in town too.
(3)
Bill B.
How can I NOT love a place called the "Satire Lounge"? How!!?? HOW!?!? Yes it is bar on a still-somewhat sketchy part of Colfax, but walk inside and see what they've done with the place. The crowd tends to be the normal neighborhood bar folks, but they are surrounded by granite countertops, halogen lighting, nice flooring, and interesting colors on the wall. Is this it? Is this the "satire"? Maybe. I actually like the food. I usually have the flat enchiladas, which are quite tasty. Parking is at premium in their adjacent lot, but the surrounding streets work, too.
(4)
Julio T.
Music is a surprisingly important element to any quality bar. The key, I feel, is variety. You don't really want all of the same kind of music playing. And on that count, the Satire has some of the best bar music. Ray Charles turned to Johnny Cash, which morphed into The Wallflowers which melded into a David Bowie song then went straight into an old Aretha number. Good music is the perfect soundtrack to good drinking. You can do plenty of the latter at Satire as well with cheap beers and drinks flowing all night. It had been awhile since I'd been in the Satire and the place looks quite spiffy actually. It's all marble counters and sleek wood chairs. They also have several decent sized TVs so you can watch your favorite game here. And the clientele is obviously very Colfax, which is exactly what I want. The food is ok...really no reason to eat here frankly, but you can in a pinch. This Satire is no joke; it's seriously a great place to drink and that is exactly what I'll do here.
(4)
Janine C.
Wasn't impressed at all. The service was bad and our "salsa" tasted like pizza sauce. Queso was fresh Velveeta but edible. The bar was packed and maybe we would have had a better time if were sitting there. We paid, left and had dinner at another place. If you want authentic keep searching!
(1)
Tee H.
Cool environment very delicious tacos!!if you're into the heat thing I recommend soft steak tacos,plus the Mexican wings are bomb!!:-)
(3)
Sam D.
Just the look of this place is enough to keep me coming back. Tinted slit windows. Neon everywhere. It's small-ish and divey in the best way possible, and feels like a mid-century time capsule. Neither the food nor the cocktails are particularly unique, but it's a classic dive and it serves that purpose superbly for myself and other East Colfax locals.
(4)
Joseph NTrish C.
We love this place...food is great, the bartender is awesome....we made the mistake of sitting in the dining area...the waitress is horrible....on the phone the whole time we were here....
(4)
John C.
Pete's Satire is rather folly-filled and rife with shortcomings, by which I mean that while its food is just okay (though there's definitely better Mexican food in Denver--even just down the street) its pitcher of Margaritas is truly forgettable. Put simply, I shared a pitcher with my girlfriend, which amounted to four drinks each, and left feeling Utah sober. What's frustrating is that a lady across the bar from us, all a shiver, complained about how strong the individual Margaritas were. (I'll take a single Marg next time.) Now, the food. The Chicken Nachos were delightfully filled with meat, and the green chile wasn't all that bad. Even so, the guacamole on top looked as though it had been prepared earlier that afternoon, and no one thought to leave the avocado pit in. Brown, verging on brownish brown. The server was nice, but the service was slow. It took about 15 minutes to get the drinks from order to delivery (I assume the bartender was trying to figure out how to use the jigger, which bottle was Tequila, and whether the tequila, triple sec, and lime juice went into the bottom or the top of the pitcher). I get that a lot of people like dive bars, and I do too. But this is one I won't frequent at all. I will, however, go back to get my free drink (I'll juts be sure to ask the quality of the bartender before I head over).
(1)
Kaye W.
Looking for some place to eat at 10:00pm on a Thursday? Everything else nearby was closed or closing, so we decided to go over here for some Mexican food in a dive bar. I was half-expecting to feel ill afterwards, but it was actually not bad! The food isn't out of this world, but we had two PBRS, two shots of Casadores, a veggie burrito and huevos rancheros for $32.90 pre-tip. Our server was super sweet, although she didn't really know the menu well, but she was attentive and asked others for information when necessary. The burrito was huge, packed with sour cream (love it!) and was still good for lunch the next day. Oh and their kitchen is open very late, until 1:30 I believe. Late night food score!
(4)
Crys A.
I'm not quite sure what they're going for in here. Decided to stop in because the sign is so cool. The inside doesn't match the intrigue of the outside; way too obvious modern furniture in a place that seems like it used to be divey. No so anymore --- or not so exactly. It was just ... odd. Not a lot of people there and the ones that were didn't match the look of the place ... though I suppose I didn't, either. The drinks were good, however, and the staff was attentive. I'd probably try it again, just to try and pin down exactly what's going on in there.
(2)
jessica b.
Food...not good...service....bad. The one cocktail waitress was very nice, but very overwhelmed by 3 tables. Forgot to put in our food order, another table walked out and it clearly blew her mind. The bartender with 2 customers at the bar stood and watched the table leave, left our pitcher of Margaritas empty for 15 min while we listened to the server complain that she can not be at people's "beck and call" when it came time for the check there were items that needed to be removed, we then asked to split our bill 50/50 and she charged one of us for the full bill and the other for half. She was very nice, but really overwhelmed. I really see no reason to return. Someone should really help the bartender with her shitty attitude towards her coworkers. If she wasn't so lazy the service from the waitress might not have been so strained.
(1)
Sarah P.
A sad place to take a shot of whiskey in the afternoon. Or talk to other orphan strangers on a holiday. Decor is kitschy and nostalgic. Satire is the king of dive bars, and delivers accordingly.
(3)
Becky S.
Here's the bonus at the Satire: You can order off the Pete's Kitchen menu from next door. Just make sure you leave extra in your tip, because the server has to carry the plates down the sidewalk just to deliver them to you! So the service was great. I felt bad for the girl, running around from restaurant to restaurant, but I guess they're used to it? She seemed to be happy, which is a plus. Nothing worse than a surly waitress who hates her life! The food was good and greasy - I got a meaty omelet that definitely cured my hangover. The Bloody Mary was also awesome, I actually drank two. I'd recommend this place, or Pete's Kitchen since it's the same food, to cure a hangover, or to fill your tummy before a night of drinking. They serve breakfast all day which is awesome too. Umm did I mention that - I think on Sunday mornings - you can get either a breakfast burrito or huevos rancheros plus either a beer or a bloody mary for only FIVE BUCKS? Hellloooo Stimulus Package!
(3)
David T.
I'm not telling. How many years I've been going to the Satire, that is. Let's just say many, many moons have passed. I used to live right around the corner and spent way too much time drinking their infamous blue margaritas. The crowd was quite iffy but my friends and I were young and living in the big city for the first time and a slightly "dangerous" vibe made us feel all grown up. The Satire was the perfect East Colfax dive and it still pretty much is, although on a recent visit I notice that both the clientele and decor have had some work done. Not so much of a barfly anymore but I still stop in for what I would have to call Greco/Mexi food (not cuisine). In case you didn't know it Pete, in addition to his empire of Greek restaurants, owns the Satire. In fact I think the vanity plate on his Caddy still says "Satire". Say what you will about all of his restaurants, they are dependable if not earthmoving. The food at the Satire is not always what I crave. It's certainly not authentic Mexican or even authentic Colorado Mexican food but I like it once in awhile. Chips and salsa are always fresh and the salsa has a little attitude. I actually like the "chile rellenos" which are unlike any others I've had - not deep fried and covered in a sweetish red sauce. Smothered burritos are a good bet - pretty much their take on all the standard Mexican items are OK. And, did I mention cheap? So, the food is pretty good and the drinks are strong. If you find yourself on this stretch of Colfax, you might give it a try. And, if you've been here you know "this plate is hot".
(3)
Carly B.
I've been to Satire a handful of times before and didn't really have an opinion of it one way or another. It's pretty close to home and has food late at night....it was recently redone. The decor seems a bit over-the-top for a place on Colfax but I suppose it's better than being dirty and gross. I went this weekend and my friend and I sat at the little bar space between the main bar and the dining room. I think this was a service "dead zone." My friend was starving so we went up to the bar to grab menus. They wouldn't give us menus. Why? Because our server would do that. So we sat and waited another 15 minutes for the alleged server (luckily we made sure to grab beers at the bar). Finally went back to the bar to insist on menus and they eventually alerted the dining room area server to our presence. I got an enchilada. It was....edible. Bursting with cheap cheese but still like $4 for one. My friend had a chili rellano on his plate which I snagged a bite of. It most certainly originated as frozen food from the nobel sysco truck. Maybe they shouldn't "specialize" in Mexican food? I've had the nachos before and they weren't terrible, but it's hard to screw those up. I probably won't be making it over to the Satire again any time soon.
(2)
Cherie B.
I don't know what it is about this place, but I DIG IT! I've never actually been here for a full-on dining experience. My Dad and I occasionally meet up here for a couple happy hour beers, tacos a la carte and chips and salsa. Their salsa is STELLAR...for reals. The service has NEVER disappointed, there are good selections on the jukebox and the bathrooms (well, the womens, at least...I don't frequent the mens room) are really frickin' nice. No, seriously...they're legit! So, stop in for some yummy munchies, cold drinks and warm service!
(4)
Travis B.
It can be extremely hard to find a nice bathroom in a dive bar, but I believe I've found the Holy Grail. Now, as a regular dive patron, I can't be too picky about restrooms (or the establishments they belong to, for that matter), but this one is incredible. Made of solid marble and featuring a stall with a lock that actually works, this restroom is fit for even the most refined of heroin and crack addicts. Only a few years ago, most people thought this was one of the cheesiest and dirty Colfax dives that one could find, but Pete recently dumped a ton of cash into a face-lift for the old girl. He installed sparkling marble counter-tops (for easier party-foul clean-up), implemented electronic shot-measuring devices (to aggravate hardened bartenders), and hung brand new flat-screens (to hypnotize lonesome winos). Even with all the new hoopla, this place, because of the customers that frequent it, is still the same wonderful dive that it has always been. A homely cocktail waitress once told me that the new Satire is really only "a bum that got a makeover." The crowds that frequent this place aren't normal. One of the great things about this place is that the clientele can drastically differ from hour-to-hour, and the renovation has driven the diversity to a fascinating new level. If you need a place to take a date, or meet a long-term partner, this isn't your gig, but if you want to meet some crazies and relax in a low-key and frankly amusing environment, this is your place - and If you're lucky, the owner, Mr. Pete Contos will be there offering a free round of shots to the entire eclectic crowd. This place is not only a bar, but also a full-service Mexican restaurant. In my years as a 21+, I've found that few foods can beat a fresh mountain of delicious nachos while pounding that $2 dollar draft. Here's a tip, if Mexican food doesn't float your boat at the moment, ask your bartender at the Satire for a menu from Pete's kitchen -- which is right next door -- because they would be happy to send some diner food your way (but you better tip well). Whichever you decide, Satire or the Kitchen, it will be cheap, the greasy awesomeness rating will be a ten, and the pretentious rating a perfect zero. If you can't handle a steady stream of raunchy jokes and a seemingly ever-present drug hustle, don't come here. For the rest of us - we that don't mind a little bit of fringe culture -- the Satire is a perfect late-night pit stop (even if it's only for the final ten minutes leading up to the latest legal last-call in Denver, which is 1:59 AM, real time, every day).
(4)
Dorian H.
I wouldn't call this a dive bar. The bathrooms are WAY too clean and the stalls have working locks. What I do know, is that I enjoyed my experience at Satire. After hitting Pete's Kitchen for dinner and pre-Lion's Lair show, a group of us stopped in here for some drinks. The Lounge was bustling with people but we didn't have any trouble finding a place to sit. I really like the layout of the place. You can sit at the bar or there is a whole other section with tables and booths. We were off to the Lion's Lair after we paid our dirt cheap tab. After making it through two lame bands, we ditched the Lair and came back to Satire. The waitress we had earlier greeted us with a big smile once again and immediately had drinks on our table. I was happy to find that we could still order some mexican food at 1am. The food wasn't the best, although, I did steal a chili cheese fry off my friend's plate when he went to the restroom and I thought those were pretty stellar. I would rather go over to Pete's for the food and leave the Satire in charge of the alcoholic beverages. Overall, our service was great and the price was certainly right. Looking forward to another excuse to come visit.
(4)
Patrick M.
This place reminds me of home, mainly I grew up eating at this classy classy bar ( such an appropriate child atmosphere). I revisited this place about two years ago and not thing has changed: the vintage decor, the friendly waiting service, even the man that yells "HOT PLATE!" still works there. Even my usually order stayed the same: 1. For the appetizer my family had a platter of nachos which consists of cheesy nachos, topped with ground beef and jalapenos. Very simplistic but not for the faint of heart. 2. For the entree I had the smothered beef burrito, topped with green chile and shredded chicken w/ fries. And to drink a Royal Rogers. If you plan on going to Denver, You have to go to the Satire and pack your appetite.
(5)
emily h.
More like two and a half stars than 3. Food was decent. My boyfriend had fajitas which he loved. I had a chicken and cheese dish that was okay but I would have liked it to be spicier. Their chips and salsa weren't homemade which disappointed me for a Mexican restaurant. Service was nice and quick.
(3)
James H.
First off, I didn't come to the Satire for Mexican food. We just stopped in for a few drinks during a Colfax pub crawl. I would have to say that the Satire is definitely not a dive bar anymore. They apparently have gutted the place and added granite counter tops, and stainless steel bar stools. Simply put, this place is way to nice for Colfax now!
(3)
Dano M.
Don't expect to be overwhelmed. You won't be...the green is great, the beans are fantastic and the beer is cold...Plates are very caliente...It is only the Satire....Pete must be 120 years old...I started going in 1969....Probably has the same pots.
(3)
Paul D.
Decent if unspectacular Mexican food. Has a fun, divey-local bar feel on the inside, and I say that in a good way.
(3)
Margaret C.
So many moons ago I used to hang out here, it almost seems like a past lifetime; ah, but indeed it was this lifetime. The place was done in red and black then. With a glitter ceiling. I know..I'm older than most yelpers if I remember this, as the Satire has had it's cheesy Santa Fe-esque look probably for as long as anyone can recall. Joey is still there, not looking much older after all the years that have gone by. Well, he has a few grey hairs, but who's counting? He's the man who brings out your steaming plates of food and says, "The plate is hot. Have a nice time" or a reasonable facsimile thereof. I still remember the Satire's jukebox in days of yore. "Too High" by Stevie Wonder was a song that people frequently played. And that song plus the very dark red and black environment could pretty much characterize the place's prevailing atmosphere at that time. The food hasn't changed much, and is still good. The food is still a good value for the money. As I've emphasized before, I am not a drinker, but I'm sure this is a good affordable place for drinkers. There's a bar that is somewhat separated from an eating section, and then a restaurant section on the other side that's totally separate from the bar. While it's more interesting visually and otherwise to sit in the table section of the bar area, for those with families probably the restaurant section is best. You can also go to Pete's Kitchen on the corner of Race and Colfax during the hours the Satire is serving food, and order Satire food while sitting at Pete's Kitchen. I suppose it depends on what your preference is! And....you guessed it....such grand memories I have of my wacky love life and a mysterious beatnik poet boyfriend I met at this place in the ancient times... That is why sometimes I return. As if memories can somehow be recaptured, and made right...
(4)
Michael S.
Ten years ago, I wouldn't have been able to suggest the Satire in good conscious, mostly due to safety concerns amongst the clientele. But now, I suggest it to anyone who will listen. They've remodeled the place, and that might have helped clean up the customers too. All I know is that they serve great Mexican food along side inexpensive cocktails. They have an amazing happy hour special with $1 off any drink and half priced burritos, nachos or tacos. There's usually a pretty diverse crowd, and the plates are always hot while you're wished to have a nice time.
(4)
Mike L.
The plate is hot! This is the saying and it is printed on the shirts. For 35 years I have eaten here and liked it. It was one of the first Mexican food restaurants I ate at that I liked the Green Chili and it is consistent and good. When I first went here it made me sweat from the heat. Today it is probably the same quality but others have gotten hotter. Price is good and value is great. A nice place and a nice change of pace for those who have tried the rest. I strongly recommend this and now that the bar is non smoking you could eat at the bar as well as the restaurant.
(4)
Daniel B.
Pulled in here for lunch. It was sparsely filled with bar flies from Colfax. I had some Mexican food. Typical sloppy Americanized Mexican. I would not drive for it but it was filling.
Takes Reservations : No Delivery : No Take-out : Yes Accepts Credit Cards : Yes Good For : Late Night Parking : Street Bike Parking : Yes Wheelchair Accessible : Yes Good for Kids : No Good for Groups : Yes Attire : Casual Ambience : Divey Noise Level : Average Music : Juke Box Good For Dancing : No Alcohol : Full Bar Happy Hour : Yes Best Nights : Fri, Sat Coat Check : No Smoking : No Outdoor Seating : No Wi-Fi : No Has TV : Yes Waiter Service : Yes Caters : No
If you enjoy Taco Tuesday, then you have officially fallen in love with the Mexican Food. The main grain of Mexican cuisine is maize. Also known as corn, maize is grown for the past 9000 years after the crop was discovered by the people in Mayan civilization. Mexican empire flourished when they started growing beans, tomatoes, chili pepper, sweet potato and cactus. Till this date these ingredients are used in cooking authentic Mexican dishes and drinks.
Great use of spices, fresh chili pepper dishes like fajitas, tortilla chips, corn chips, salsa, chimichangas, burritos, nachos and quesadillas are invented in America. But when you are looking for authentic Mexican food then you must find a restaurant in the city that serves Rajas con Queso, Garbanzo in a Guajillo Chile Sauce, Pork Filled Chiles Rellenos, Chiles en Nogada, Molcajete Salsa, Pico de Gallo and Frijoles de la Olla. An eye-opening fact – Mexican don't like their food hot. They use fresh chili and other spices to create a flavor that lingers in your mouth.
Mexican food is great for those who are Gluten Intolerant as they use Corn instead of wheat in most of their dishes. Also, you can easily find many beans based Mexican dishes. Another dish which didn't get similar glory as tacos or nachos is the Mexican hot chocolate. If you love something hot on a chilly day, then go for Mexican Hot Chocolate. On merry days, you can enjoy the authentic Mexican Drinks like Tequila, Mezcal, Tecuí, Sotol, Bacanora, Charanda, Posh O Pox, Puebla and Pulque. Mexican Cuisine is for people who enjoy strong drinks and hearty meals.
TJ Lee W.
Don't come for the service. Other than that the fajitas are good. "I mean, who wants to eat chiminichungas next year?" (Try the chiminichunga too)
(3)Ryan G.
First thing about this place: Great mexican food. Really. And late night. I even went for the mexican steak last time cuz I was so impressed with the basics the time before and mucho bueno. Great guac and salsa. It's now all pretty inside - If not for the lovely clientele and the location in the middle of seed on colfax you might not call it a dive bar. The bar can be entertaining late at night, but it's really just a long bar of people sitting. The split side of the bar is just private booths - good for friends or dining. ie: not really a bar with people walking around being rowdy and social. You go there to drink. Or eat.
(4)noah z.
Bartenders look like they might be carrying some sort of virus. Except Janeen she's great! Very scary. Chicken tacos are good but way over priced. If you like the old cap hill skank vibe. You've found it. Pete needs a major overhaul on this place, mainly bar cuz Joey is cool too. This is the def the place to see your generated homeless contribution being spent by local drunks. They take petes recipes, so they're good for diner style short order cooking. One place in the hill that won't cut you off. If your a dude bring a rain coat;) and double it up.
(2)David J.
I love this place. The first time I was here was with some denver cops when I was on a ride-a-long in the early 90's. Half way through the meal, a newlywed couple pulled up in a limo and demanded free drinks at the bar, which were refused. Years later I saw this place on a list of bars that Tom Waits would visit or had visited, so I had to go back after a 6 year stint in the service. Strange happenings here for sure. That's why I visit, not so much for the food. I am tempted to tell stories, but doing so may implicate myself and others
(4)Sadie S.
What can I say? Satire has been a cool spot for my girlfriends and I for a couple of years now. We spent a night in Denver this last weekend, and always hit Pete's Kitchen, as a tradition, when visiting from the Western Slope. When we woke up Sunday morning, Pete's was on our minds, as well as a mimosa. We stopped in to Satire and plopped ourselves at the bar... ~ Heather was bartending, and she was awesome cool. Mimosas for all, and great tunes. It's a friendly neighborhood bar/restaurant that we will surely go to again. Now that we know we can order from Pete's Kitchen, which is located right next door, we'll be hitting the Satire for breakfast and mimosas! There's a little grey haired older gentleman who visits the place, and he gets into the Blondie tunes on the jukebox. Also, it's rumored that Bob Dylan played in this joint back in the 70s, passing thru town. Very cool, 50's decor with a fantastic jukebox.
(4)Bo B.
We went here during a Saturday night bar crawl. It was fun. It's been completely remodeled. We only had drinks so I can't comment on the food. The beer was CHEAP = 2 budlights & 2 micros for $7! You can't beat that.
(5)Tim C.
Didn't have the food...drinks were sorta pricey and the old hag who called herself a "patron" can keep this smelly shitehole to herself. She was totally rude... On the flipside, the service was great, but this place seems like it's in need of an identity.
(2)Corrine C.
Servers here have a quick wit and a special charm. Drinks are poured heavy by a lovely barmaids. Food is delivered with charm and humor. Most of the food is good here. Anything with green chili is good and is served with a mountain of cheese. If you like spicy try the Mexican steak or steak tacos. Avoid the relleno sauce and you will enjoy every meal you eat here. Oh and this place is great for people watching, because so many interesting characters visit regularly.
(4)Kathy J.
I have eaten in numerous mexican restaurants since coming to Denver but I do have to say this is the best so far. Decor is very old but the service and food was awesome. It is definately on my list of where I will go again.
(5)tim r.
I hate that my first review is of the Satire, but I was egged on by David T.'s review. I left Denver in '86, but from about '78-'83 I was a regular in that dark/dank den of iniquity, and lived close by. I played on the softball team. I ate there little, but did date a woman who wore a tee shirt stating "this plate is hot" on the front, "have a nice time" on the back. Imagine, I forget her name. I left Denver in '86, and have only now returned. Briefly, permanently, I've yet to figure out. I went on a nostalgic trip into the way-back machine a few weeks ago, and was troubled to see the walls and ceilings are no longer black. Instead, a blinding white. How does one hide or fantasize in blinding light? No hostess, nor Pete, greeting you at the door. I'm afraid now that the Satire, like Phoenix, AZ., has no reason to be. For me, anyway. I ate, but I'm sure the taste of the food was influenced by the taste of the decor. Certainly not bad food, nor service, but sometimes when things change it is not for the better. I hope they are thriving, it's a tough business and Pete's always done well. I guess I've just moved on.
(2)Paul G.
Nasty Nasty Nasty. The "Passport" is a cheap margarita with a Coronita (a mini Corona) turn upside down INTO the margarita. I mistakenly had one, then puked 5 times and slept on my bathroom floor. If I remember right, the food was nasty, too.
(1)Stephanie L.
Satire lounge seems to have an identity crisis. It doesn't know if it wants to be a hip lounge, sports bar, or Mexican restaurant. I will say that it is very clean and modern inside (include the restrooms- yeah!) The food is just okay: Margaritas from a mix with some tequila I've never heard of, tortilla chips are from a bag, salsa is poured from a big plastic jug, and the guacamole can barely pass as such. The nachos were good though and were satisfying for my late night hunger.
(3)Jeremy H.
The only reason I remember the last time I was here is because I had a $50 tab in my wallet. $50 is quite an accomplishment at the Satire and I'm assuming that I had a good time like all the other times that I've ended my night here. They serve booze right up until 2am and the staff is pretty good unless it is a new girl. If you are attempting the Colfax Crawl, you have to stop at this place near the end.
(3)Penelope W.
Wow, this is a Mexican restaurant? Well sure, but it is also a dark and seedy red-velvet-esque lounge. Came here on Sunday for a G and T,didn't know it could be so dark at this hour. I imagine many people become discombobulated at this darkness from morning to night : ). I'm pretty sure my company and I were the only females, well, except for the bartender; she says she had the same shirt as me : ) Allegedly, Bob Dylan played here ages ago and I am not surprised. I don't see how anyone could resist The Satire Lounge; It's a lounge for any occasion. Even other friends I met on Colfax this day wind up here. Probably a good choice to meet bachelors, Ladies. The are here and they are available. Insite Denver's Best 2002 Historic Bar. Red bar lights, no sun light, fun toons, old style peeps, drinkin' on the Sabbath.
(5)Jeff G.
I've been going to the Satire since 1981, though not so often now as when I lived right around the corner. To my mind the place has cleaned up a lot since then. There was a major renovation to the dining room somewhere around 1990 and the place became a bit nicer, if less colorful. The bar has stayed pretty much the same, and I don' t know what they'll do when the "this plate is hot" guy retires. Good green chili and southwest staples. Cold beer. Not so much a dive bar as it once was, but you do get some characters in there still.
(3)Sarah E.
Great spicey mexian food. The booths have much to be desired- I don't really care to sit on a duct taped hole. The bartenders are cute and friendly. I've never had a bad drink. They like to make up their own shots and have you test them. :-P
(5)Jordan F.
My girlfriend and I were looking for a decent, local Mexican restaurant and the majority of the reviews were excellent, so we decided on Satire. At first glance, it looks like your typical dive bar on Colfax. But upon entering, the Satire Lounge becomes something completely different. Weird, modernized chairs, stainless steel counter tops...just strange in general. Overlooking their furniture, we sat ourselves in a booth close to the entrance. Our waitress was very polite and let us know they didn't have a drink menu, or drink options on their food menu (??). We decided on the pitcher of house margaritas and chips and salsa to start. And then the experience went downhill. The pitcher came out.....it was the size of a mini flower vase, and mostly filled with ice. I heard they had pretty strong drinks here, so I was trying to stay positive. But then the "margaritas" tasted like sweet and sour mix, lime pulp, and a splash of Juarez tequila. Whatever...moving on. I ordered a build your own combo plate with a cheese enchilada, a fried relleno, and a chicken burrito. Now, when it comes to Mexican restaurants in Denver, I always order a crispy relleno because that's my favorite and I usually won't go back to a place with terrible rellenos. Let's just say their relleno was sub-par at very best. The menu offered different varieties of their burritos; shredded beef or chicken, bean, or sour cream. When reading this, it appears as though I would have a choice of shredded beef or shredded chicken, which is why I ordered the chicken. Cheese enchiladas are really hard to mess up, and mostly taste good, as long as the cheese melts. When my plate arrived, it was covered in cheese. I'm going to guess at least a half pound of cheese was in/on my food. I usually enjoy cheese, but this was just...too much. I tried the enchilada first, knowing that if I waited too long, the cheese inside would harden and become inedible. Well, all that cheese, inside and out, probably helped the taste of the enchilada. I tasted no enchilada sauce at all. Nor did I see any. That would explain it...Next, I tried the relleno. I prefer mine wrapped in an egg roll paper, stuffed with Monterrey Jack cheese, and deep fried. But I am open to trying new things. Theirs was stuffed with the same cheese that doused my plate, battered, rolled length wise in bread crumbs, and deep fried to an overdone and dry crisp. One bite, and I couldn't eat anymore. Ok, let's see about the chicken burrito. I moved a section of cheese out of the way (I'm serious about how much cheese was on this plate), and cut a bite to eat. Instead of finding shredded chicken, I found cubes of what seemed to be canned chicken meat. And tasted accordingly. I picked a little more at my enchilada, and saw the mound of fries on my girlfriend's plate (she ordered the mexican hamburger, no complaints). Their green chile tastes pretty good so I was dipping her fries in my chile so I wouldn't feel like the jerk that refused to eat her food because it's terrible. I looked that the pile of pork I was trying to fit on my french fry, when I saw a long, black hair rise out of my green chile with my fry....and I'm done. The waitress apologized profusely and removed my meal from our bill. When the bill arrived, I found out that the mini pitcher of sweet and sour mix was $17. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? Sorry, I will never return here.
(1)Amanda S.
I have been here a few times, and am always very satisfied! The chips and salsa are muy bueno. We went here again last night, I got the chicken chimichanga, it was delicious and I got to take home leftovers yum! I like that you have a choice of either black beans and corn or refried beans. My fiance got a combo plate (shredded beef burrito, chile relleno and refried beans) He decided that the relleno tasted more like a jalapeno popper (it was fried). But everything else was delicious besides the relleno (and we loooove rellenos!) Overall, the food is good & affordable, and decently priced margs ($5). The service was also excellent!
(4)Brian C.
Have been going to the Sat for decades but over the last months have been extremely turned off on Friday nights by the self promotion of the bar managers band and attitude - disheveled rude and arrogant & not what a manager should exude - the entire dinning area is encompassed by his band & so loud that conversation is impossible - walked out numerous Friday nights with group of 8-10 other people and won't be back until the customers considered 1st & the manager's self promotion 2nd - hope Pete will read this & make some changes - bartenders are good as is Joey!
(1)Gabrielle S.
Had been here xx years ago. Was really good. Now I live right down the street. Let's be honest-one visit to the next, you never know what the clientele will be. Very interesting people. Don't come here if you're a suburb person and afraid of what you might "run into" in the city. Since Senor pepe's closed I've been trying to find comparable food close to home. So far, this is the closest I've come. I am sure, as another reviewer wrote, this stuff is probably frozen and then "flash heated." I like the chili rellenos and I always order the refried beans. The booze is good. Margaritas are ok-like the fake jukebox they have. Always entertaining because you will find all types of people there. Service has been great every time I've been there. Having lived in Vegas for a while, the folks who hang around here are ok compared to the STRANGE people everywhere in LV! G. Simon
(4)Anthony S.
Drinks - cheap and decent. Food - awful and awful. Granted this is a divey spot that serves Mexican food so I should probably blame myself for ordering chile rellenos at 11:30 pm on a Saturday night. On the other hand, this food was terrible. Honestly, my guess is that prepackaged food is purchased here and then placed on an oven safe plate until the plate is "finished". Dead giveaway is the fact that our plates were about 350 degrees to the touch. Our bartender warned us, but you know us men like to find things out the hard way sometimes. Anyway, come here for a drink. Stay far away from the food - I doubt Bobby D ate anything when he played here.
(2)Richard R.
What's not to like about a kitschy dive bar on Colfax? The weird accoutrement behind the bar make the vibe of this place all the more real and all the more fun. I like that it's not a huge place but when you need a drink it'll serve. What's really cool is that you can order from the Pete's Kitchen menu even though you are in the bar. Talk about the best of both worlds. I get the feeling they don't like customers ordering food on this side very much so choose your time wisely when you ask for munchies. Still, it's a nice option. Remember - it's The Fax. You can see anything from a bachelorette party to a smelly old man sleeping in the corner. It's that kind of variety that keep me coming back. The perfect midway point to stop if you are on a bar crawl. The bartendress on my last visit was fun and engaging but she didn't ignore any of her customers even though she was the only one working at the time. I like that laid back feel and the come as you are vibe of this place. If nothing else, it's worth checking out for the craziness behind the bar - the décor, not the employees :-)
(4)Floyd L.
Sad, you can't go back home again I guess. I went back, not for the drinking or the night life but for the amazing chili rellenos they used to make twenty years ago. I noticed now that they don't even appear on their online menu. Not only are they not made the same way they used to, breaded and deep-fried but the sauce was ghastly. The sauce had an extremely vinegary taste that to me didn't resemble any kind of Mexican sauce I have ever had. The Chili's himself's were bland very tough. Guess it's time to learn how to make them myself.
(1)Sasha L.
A little back story, this place was started by Pete Contos, a Greek guy who came here with no money to his name but big ambitions. He started this restaurant in I believe the 60's, after being a dishwasher and bartender during most of his youth. He didn't have much money to start it so he went in with a partner. It was one of the first places born on Colfax with an intention to fix up the area. Many rockstars hung out around here during this time (my dad is familiar, they are all obviously before my time). He had many nights of disruptive, rough customers. He later went on to open Pete''s next door and then several other restaurants on Colfax and the south Denver area. He is about 85 years old now. He is truly an example of the American dream and how hard work can pay off. He also paved the way for improving Colfax. My dad, brother, and I are regulars here. The service is generally consistently pretty good, especially when we get a server that recognizes/remembers us. They know our order without us having to say anything. That means a lot and makes us feel consistently valued as customers here. Our last visit was HORRENDOUS. We came on a holiday, I think Christmas Eve or sometime during early lunchtime. There were several patrons and one blond server. She was pretty but had a BAD ATTITUDE. She took FOREVER to greet us and rolled her eyes several times at us. She was complaining one of the waitresses called in. We were understanding, that would really suck and obviously will slow down service, but that is no excuse to treat us poorly, it's not like it was our fault. When I got a burrito with an enchilada on the side she gave me this wide eyed bitchy look and said, "That's a lot of food!" umm, sorry? I'll be sure to order less and tip you less. She was so unpleasant and awkward it really interfered with enjoying time with my family whom I don't get to see enough. If I wasn't so familiar with this place, I would give it one star, and call Pete to insist on firing this dreadful woman. This was the only time she has waited on us though (thankfully) and hopefully I never have to see her heavily painted face again. This is the reason for a lack of a star ANYWAYS. The burritos here are great. We tend to go for the smothered chicken and sour cream burritos most of the time. Enchiladas are small and have the same sauce as the burritos (wish they did enchilada sauce on these instead of green chili though). The chicken chipotle is phenomenal! The service is usually good, we just came at the wrong time when someone had the wrong attitude. This place has a lot of history. I have tons of respect for the owner. The food is a good value for what you are paying, and they keep the free chips & salsa coming. Me, my dad, and my bro will be regulars here forever. I love sharing this place with my incredible family.
(4)Josh J.
great drink specials, I got a salty dog for a buck 75. Can't beat that price. Did not eat there though. I would say it had a neighborhood bar feel. This place is best for those who live within walking distance. Not sure I would bother getting in my car to head there. Homeless hangout? I will try the food sometime before I give a final judgement.
(3)Libby B.
I had a shredded beef burrito platter that was pretty tasty. The reason for only 2 stars? Service was lacking even though it wasn't very busy. Our server didn't refill our water cups once even though I'd drank half of mine before we even got our food. But the worst part was our beverage... One house margarita was $5 whereas a pitcher was $17. My boyfriend and I, wanting to enjoy our Friday night to the fullest, ordered a pitcher which amounted to about 4 margaritas each. Yes, 4 margaritas EACH - and tequila usually hits me fast - but after those 4 margaritas, we were looking at each other like "What's up with the Mormon bartender?" because I'm not convinced there was any alcohol in that pitcher whatsoever. (Sorry to our LDS brethren - 'tis a joke.) Once at home and fully realizing that our bellies were chock-full of kool-aid, my fella decided to (politely) give feedback about the wretched margaritas to the manager on duty. She was happy for the helpful info and handled the situation well but being that our first experience here was so surprisingly disappointing, we don't ever plan to go back.
(2)Fred F.
Surprisingly good mexican food for a bar in Denver. Some of the best people watching in town too.
(3)Bill B.
How can I NOT love a place called the "Satire Lounge"? How!!?? HOW!?!? Yes it is bar on a still-somewhat sketchy part of Colfax, but walk inside and see what they've done with the place. The crowd tends to be the normal neighborhood bar folks, but they are surrounded by granite countertops, halogen lighting, nice flooring, and interesting colors on the wall. Is this it? Is this the "satire"? Maybe. I actually like the food. I usually have the flat enchiladas, which are quite tasty. Parking is at premium in their adjacent lot, but the surrounding streets work, too.
(4)Julio T.
Music is a surprisingly important element to any quality bar. The key, I feel, is variety. You don't really want all of the same kind of music playing. And on that count, the Satire has some of the best bar music. Ray Charles turned to Johnny Cash, which morphed into The Wallflowers which melded into a David Bowie song then went straight into an old Aretha number. Good music is the perfect soundtrack to good drinking. You can do plenty of the latter at Satire as well with cheap beers and drinks flowing all night. It had been awhile since I'd been in the Satire and the place looks quite spiffy actually. It's all marble counters and sleek wood chairs. They also have several decent sized TVs so you can watch your favorite game here. And the clientele is obviously very Colfax, which is exactly what I want. The food is ok...really no reason to eat here frankly, but you can in a pinch. This Satire is no joke; it's seriously a great place to drink and that is exactly what I'll do here.
(4)Janine C.
Wasn't impressed at all. The service was bad and our "salsa" tasted like pizza sauce. Queso was fresh Velveeta but edible. The bar was packed and maybe we would have had a better time if were sitting there. We paid, left and had dinner at another place. If you want authentic keep searching!
(1)Tee H.
Cool environment very delicious tacos!!if you're into the heat thing I recommend soft steak tacos,plus the Mexican wings are bomb!!:-)
(3)Sam D.
Just the look of this place is enough to keep me coming back. Tinted slit windows. Neon everywhere. It's small-ish and divey in the best way possible, and feels like a mid-century time capsule. Neither the food nor the cocktails are particularly unique, but it's a classic dive and it serves that purpose superbly for myself and other East Colfax locals.
(4)Joseph NTrish C.
We love this place...food is great, the bartender is awesome....we made the mistake of sitting in the dining area...the waitress is horrible....on the phone the whole time we were here....
(4)John C.
Pete's Satire is rather folly-filled and rife with shortcomings, by which I mean that while its food is just okay (though there's definitely better Mexican food in Denver--even just down the street) its pitcher of Margaritas is truly forgettable. Put simply, I shared a pitcher with my girlfriend, which amounted to four drinks each, and left feeling Utah sober. What's frustrating is that a lady across the bar from us, all a shiver, complained about how strong the individual Margaritas were. (I'll take a single Marg next time.) Now, the food. The Chicken Nachos were delightfully filled with meat, and the green chile wasn't all that bad. Even so, the guacamole on top looked as though it had been prepared earlier that afternoon, and no one thought to leave the avocado pit in. Brown, verging on brownish brown. The server was nice, but the service was slow. It took about 15 minutes to get the drinks from order to delivery (I assume the bartender was trying to figure out how to use the jigger, which bottle was Tequila, and whether the tequila, triple sec, and lime juice went into the bottom or the top of the pitcher). I get that a lot of people like dive bars, and I do too. But this is one I won't frequent at all. I will, however, go back to get my free drink (I'll juts be sure to ask the quality of the bartender before I head over).
(1)Kaye W.
Looking for some place to eat at 10:00pm on a Thursday? Everything else nearby was closed or closing, so we decided to go over here for some Mexican food in a dive bar. I was half-expecting to feel ill afterwards, but it was actually not bad! The food isn't out of this world, but we had two PBRS, two shots of Casadores, a veggie burrito and huevos rancheros for $32.90 pre-tip. Our server was super sweet, although she didn't really know the menu well, but she was attentive and asked others for information when necessary. The burrito was huge, packed with sour cream (love it!) and was still good for lunch the next day. Oh and their kitchen is open very late, until 1:30 I believe. Late night food score!
(4)Crys A.
I'm not quite sure what they're going for in here. Decided to stop in because the sign is so cool. The inside doesn't match the intrigue of the outside; way too obvious modern furniture in a place that seems like it used to be divey. No so anymore --- or not so exactly. It was just ... odd. Not a lot of people there and the ones that were didn't match the look of the place ... though I suppose I didn't, either. The drinks were good, however, and the staff was attentive. I'd probably try it again, just to try and pin down exactly what's going on in there.
(2)jessica b.
Food...not good...service....bad. The one cocktail waitress was very nice, but very overwhelmed by 3 tables. Forgot to put in our food order, another table walked out and it clearly blew her mind. The bartender with 2 customers at the bar stood and watched the table leave, left our pitcher of Margaritas empty for 15 min while we listened to the server complain that she can not be at people's "beck and call" when it came time for the check there were items that needed to be removed, we then asked to split our bill 50/50 and she charged one of us for the full bill and the other for half. She was very nice, but really overwhelmed. I really see no reason to return. Someone should really help the bartender with her shitty attitude towards her coworkers. If she wasn't so lazy the service from the waitress might not have been so strained.
(1)Sarah P.
A sad place to take a shot of whiskey in the afternoon. Or talk to other orphan strangers on a holiday. Decor is kitschy and nostalgic. Satire is the king of dive bars, and delivers accordingly.
(3)Becky S.
Here's the bonus at the Satire: You can order off the Pete's Kitchen menu from next door. Just make sure you leave extra in your tip, because the server has to carry the plates down the sidewalk just to deliver them to you! So the service was great. I felt bad for the girl, running around from restaurant to restaurant, but I guess they're used to it? She seemed to be happy, which is a plus. Nothing worse than a surly waitress who hates her life! The food was good and greasy - I got a meaty omelet that definitely cured my hangover. The Bloody Mary was also awesome, I actually drank two. I'd recommend this place, or Pete's Kitchen since it's the same food, to cure a hangover, or to fill your tummy before a night of drinking. They serve breakfast all day which is awesome too. Umm did I mention that - I think on Sunday mornings - you can get either a breakfast burrito or huevos rancheros plus either a beer or a bloody mary for only FIVE BUCKS? Hellloooo Stimulus Package!
(3)David T.
I'm not telling. How many years I've been going to the Satire, that is. Let's just say many, many moons have passed. I used to live right around the corner and spent way too much time drinking their infamous blue margaritas. The crowd was quite iffy but my friends and I were young and living in the big city for the first time and a slightly "dangerous" vibe made us feel all grown up. The Satire was the perfect East Colfax dive and it still pretty much is, although on a recent visit I notice that both the clientele and decor have had some work done. Not so much of a barfly anymore but I still stop in for what I would have to call Greco/Mexi food (not cuisine). In case you didn't know it Pete, in addition to his empire of Greek restaurants, owns the Satire. In fact I think the vanity plate on his Caddy still says "Satire". Say what you will about all of his restaurants, they are dependable if not earthmoving. The food at the Satire is not always what I crave. It's certainly not authentic Mexican or even authentic Colorado Mexican food but I like it once in awhile. Chips and salsa are always fresh and the salsa has a little attitude. I actually like the "chile rellenos" which are unlike any others I've had - not deep fried and covered in a sweetish red sauce. Smothered burritos are a good bet - pretty much their take on all the standard Mexican items are OK. And, did I mention cheap? So, the food is pretty good and the drinks are strong. If you find yourself on this stretch of Colfax, you might give it a try. And, if you've been here you know "this plate is hot".
(3)Carly B.
I've been to Satire a handful of times before and didn't really have an opinion of it one way or another. It's pretty close to home and has food late at night....it was recently redone. The decor seems a bit over-the-top for a place on Colfax but I suppose it's better than being dirty and gross. I went this weekend and my friend and I sat at the little bar space between the main bar and the dining room. I think this was a service "dead zone." My friend was starving so we went up to the bar to grab menus. They wouldn't give us menus. Why? Because our server would do that. So we sat and waited another 15 minutes for the alleged server (luckily we made sure to grab beers at the bar). Finally went back to the bar to insist on menus and they eventually alerted the dining room area server to our presence. I got an enchilada. It was....edible. Bursting with cheap cheese but still like $4 for one. My friend had a chili rellano on his plate which I snagged a bite of. It most certainly originated as frozen food from the nobel sysco truck. Maybe they shouldn't "specialize" in Mexican food? I've had the nachos before and they weren't terrible, but it's hard to screw those up. I probably won't be making it over to the Satire again any time soon.
(2)Cherie B.
I don't know what it is about this place, but I DIG IT! I've never actually been here for a full-on dining experience. My Dad and I occasionally meet up here for a couple happy hour beers, tacos a la carte and chips and salsa. Their salsa is STELLAR...for reals. The service has NEVER disappointed, there are good selections on the jukebox and the bathrooms (well, the womens, at least...I don't frequent the mens room) are really frickin' nice. No, seriously...they're legit! So, stop in for some yummy munchies, cold drinks and warm service!
(4)Travis B.
It can be extremely hard to find a nice bathroom in a dive bar, but I believe I've found the Holy Grail. Now, as a regular dive patron, I can't be too picky about restrooms (or the establishments they belong to, for that matter), but this one is incredible. Made of solid marble and featuring a stall with a lock that actually works, this restroom is fit for even the most refined of heroin and crack addicts. Only a few years ago, most people thought this was one of the cheesiest and dirty Colfax dives that one could find, but Pete recently dumped a ton of cash into a face-lift for the old girl. He installed sparkling marble counter-tops (for easier party-foul clean-up), implemented electronic shot-measuring devices (to aggravate hardened bartenders), and hung brand new flat-screens (to hypnotize lonesome winos). Even with all the new hoopla, this place, because of the customers that frequent it, is still the same wonderful dive that it has always been. A homely cocktail waitress once told me that the new Satire is really only "a bum that got a makeover." The crowds that frequent this place aren't normal. One of the great things about this place is that the clientele can drastically differ from hour-to-hour, and the renovation has driven the diversity to a fascinating new level. If you need a place to take a date, or meet a long-term partner, this isn't your gig, but if you want to meet some crazies and relax in a low-key and frankly amusing environment, this is your place - and If you're lucky, the owner, Mr. Pete Contos will be there offering a free round of shots to the entire eclectic crowd. This place is not only a bar, but also a full-service Mexican restaurant. In my years as a 21+, I've found that few foods can beat a fresh mountain of delicious nachos while pounding that $2 dollar draft. Here's a tip, if Mexican food doesn't float your boat at the moment, ask your bartender at the Satire for a menu from Pete's kitchen -- which is right next door -- because they would be happy to send some diner food your way (but you better tip well). Whichever you decide, Satire or the Kitchen, it will be cheap, the greasy awesomeness rating will be a ten, and the pretentious rating a perfect zero. If you can't handle a steady stream of raunchy jokes and a seemingly ever-present drug hustle, don't come here. For the rest of us - we that don't mind a little bit of fringe culture -- the Satire is a perfect late-night pit stop (even if it's only for the final ten minutes leading up to the latest legal last-call in Denver, which is 1:59 AM, real time, every day).
(4)Dorian H.
I wouldn't call this a dive bar. The bathrooms are WAY too clean and the stalls have working locks. What I do know, is that I enjoyed my experience at Satire. After hitting Pete's Kitchen for dinner and pre-Lion's Lair show, a group of us stopped in here for some drinks. The Lounge was bustling with people but we didn't have any trouble finding a place to sit. I really like the layout of the place. You can sit at the bar or there is a whole other section with tables and booths. We were off to the Lion's Lair after we paid our dirt cheap tab. After making it through two lame bands, we ditched the Lair and came back to Satire. The waitress we had earlier greeted us with a big smile once again and immediately had drinks on our table. I was happy to find that we could still order some mexican food at 1am. The food wasn't the best, although, I did steal a chili cheese fry off my friend's plate when he went to the restroom and I thought those were pretty stellar. I would rather go over to Pete's for the food and leave the Satire in charge of the alcoholic beverages. Overall, our service was great and the price was certainly right. Looking forward to another excuse to come visit.
(4)Patrick M.
This place reminds me of home, mainly I grew up eating at this classy classy bar ( such an appropriate child atmosphere). I revisited this place about two years ago and not thing has changed: the vintage decor, the friendly waiting service, even the man that yells "HOT PLATE!" still works there. Even my usually order stayed the same: 1. For the appetizer my family had a platter of nachos which consists of cheesy nachos, topped with ground beef and jalapenos. Very simplistic but not for the faint of heart. 2. For the entree I had the smothered beef burrito, topped with green chile and shredded chicken w/ fries. And to drink a Royal Rogers. If you plan on going to Denver, You have to go to the Satire and pack your appetite.
(5)emily h.
More like two and a half stars than 3. Food was decent. My boyfriend had fajitas which he loved. I had a chicken and cheese dish that was okay but I would have liked it to be spicier. Their chips and salsa weren't homemade which disappointed me for a Mexican restaurant. Service was nice and quick.
(3)James H.
First off, I didn't come to the Satire for Mexican food. We just stopped in for a few drinks during a Colfax pub crawl. I would have to say that the Satire is definitely not a dive bar anymore. They apparently have gutted the place and added granite counter tops, and stainless steel bar stools. Simply put, this place is way to nice for Colfax now!
(3)Dano M.
Don't expect to be overwhelmed. You won't be...the green is great, the beans are fantastic and the beer is cold...Plates are very caliente...It is only the Satire....Pete must be 120 years old...I started going in 1969....Probably has the same pots.
(3)Paul D.
Decent if unspectacular Mexican food. Has a fun, divey-local bar feel on the inside, and I say that in a good way.
(3)Margaret C.
So many moons ago I used to hang out here, it almost seems like a past lifetime; ah, but indeed it was this lifetime. The place was done in red and black then. With a glitter ceiling. I know..I'm older than most yelpers if I remember this, as the Satire has had it's cheesy Santa Fe-esque look probably for as long as anyone can recall. Joey is still there, not looking much older after all the years that have gone by. Well, he has a few grey hairs, but who's counting? He's the man who brings out your steaming plates of food and says, "The plate is hot. Have a nice time" or a reasonable facsimile thereof. I still remember the Satire's jukebox in days of yore. "Too High" by Stevie Wonder was a song that people frequently played. And that song plus the very dark red and black environment could pretty much characterize the place's prevailing atmosphere at that time. The food hasn't changed much, and is still good. The food is still a good value for the money. As I've emphasized before, I am not a drinker, but I'm sure this is a good affordable place for drinkers. There's a bar that is somewhat separated from an eating section, and then a restaurant section on the other side that's totally separate from the bar. While it's more interesting visually and otherwise to sit in the table section of the bar area, for those with families probably the restaurant section is best. You can also go to Pete's Kitchen on the corner of Race and Colfax during the hours the Satire is serving food, and order Satire food while sitting at Pete's Kitchen. I suppose it depends on what your preference is! And....you guessed it....such grand memories I have of my wacky love life and a mysterious beatnik poet boyfriend I met at this place in the ancient times... That is why sometimes I return. As if memories can somehow be recaptured, and made right...
(4)Michael S.
Ten years ago, I wouldn't have been able to suggest the Satire in good conscious, mostly due to safety concerns amongst the clientele. But now, I suggest it to anyone who will listen. They've remodeled the place, and that might have helped clean up the customers too. All I know is that they serve great Mexican food along side inexpensive cocktails. They have an amazing happy hour special with $1 off any drink and half priced burritos, nachos or tacos. There's usually a pretty diverse crowd, and the plates are always hot while you're wished to have a nice time.
(4)Mike L.
The plate is hot! This is the saying and it is printed on the shirts. For 35 years I have eaten here and liked it. It was one of the first Mexican food restaurants I ate at that I liked the Green Chili and it is consistent and good. When I first went here it made me sweat from the heat. Today it is probably the same quality but others have gotten hotter. Price is good and value is great. A nice place and a nice change of pace for those who have tried the rest. I strongly recommend this and now that the bar is non smoking you could eat at the bar as well as the restaurant.
(4)Daniel B.
Pulled in here for lunch. It was sparsely filled with bar flies from Colfax. I had some Mexican food. Typical sloppy Americanized Mexican. I would not drive for it but it was filling.
(2)