Fun bar with a solid presence of locals that were welcoming of strangers and a solid, friendly staff. We came in a group of about 15 people that doubled the happy hour crowd and the staff handled everything with aplomb. Left before the Karaoke because when I want to hear someone sing, I prefer they know how to do it.
(4)
Meredith K.
Food waitress is (somewhat) attentive... Karaoke, while the sound is pretty good, really sucks. KJ plays way too many break songs. Takes almost double the time what it should to make it through a list. We've been here since 9 pm. It's now 11, and we are nowhere close to singing. I get it, karaoke, quit bitchin'. But, c'mon. Friends just posted about another place 10 miles away. We are leaving, and will still get to sing there quicker. We won't be back.
(1)
Lisa P.
Went in about 6:30 stated we were here for karaoke and was suppose to start at 8 About 815 I asked what was going on and the same waitress said they had issues last night and couldn't even have karaoke..REALLY....should have been.told this when we first got there By 850 still no karaoke..left to go to a different place. Ugh
(1)
Beth G.
Awesome DJ Mike. The songs between the singers are the best thing since sliced bread. Great food 'N drinks.
Don't go to Parke Center Lounge for karaoke. The DJ puts his buddies ahead in line over and over and plays 2-3 'dance songs' between each person who's going to sing. Even when no one is dancing. What a waste of my time, energy and money. Unless you like being treated a second class citizen, then by all means go. We noticed after an hour that my name had somehow disappeared from the list and I told him and he added it, above some, but close to the bottom. I don't think I'd have gotten up there by 2 am when they close. Also, he's so into himself that he sang be times in the 3rd ours we were there. The food was good, waitress and drinks good. The owner needs to rethink his DJ choice for karaoke. Especially on a crazy busy night like Halloween. I'll find somewhere else to spend my money.
(1)
Jonathon B.
Came for Karaoke. The KJ plays WAY too many videos. Waits are double or triple what they should be, stretching into an unacceptable 2+ hours to sing. I came to sing, and watch others sing. I can stay home and watch videos on YouTube.
(2)
John W.
Great sound system for the karaoke. Also the most songs available for singing of any karaoke place I have ever been in. Karaoke is best on the weekends -IMHO. Food is decent for a "dive" bar. Service is slow once it gets busy as they don't have enough wait staff. Friendly staff and patrons. Mixed crowd of all ages, types and backgrounds. I really like this place and I think you will too.
(4)
Manny C.
I really have no idea why some folks refer to it as a dive bar??? It's very clean & lite well and an adults clientele, with a full menu of Mex & Amer food. Lot's of TV's for the Bronco game and has a great friendly staff. Prices for food and drink are very competitive. Been a customer off and on for some 12 years and one of my favorite lounges to watch the Bronks, altho if you try singing at their Karaoke time, they have their favorites (Customers they know personally and who have 1st crack at singing)...
(4)
Sean R.
One of the worst experiences I've ever had going out or witnessed, and this is including 10 years of customer service experience as a bartender, a server, and now a medical professional. Went out to this bar to celebrate a coworkers birthday, and by the end of the night felt completely disrespected. Bought numerous drinks and appetizers, had friends waiting all night to sing karaoke only to witness their numerous what I assume to be locals called up singing song after song. Not exactly a super crowded bar on a Monday night, we just ignored the fact we had been ignored by the KJ all night until the end of the evening when a buddy had yelled to the KJ behind the bar "thanks for skipping us all night" to which the KJ named Mikey replied "I'll f*** you all up". Being with a group of 3 guys and 3 girls, all three of us guys obviously weren't exactly happy so we started mouthing off to the KJ. Bouncer came over to calm us down in which we explained the situation only to have the bouncer and KJ laughing behind the bar about the situation, then when calling out the bouncer again about not taking the situation seriously, we had the KJ flick us off in the process behind the DJ booth. At that point we tabbed out and left after to diffuse the whole situation before tempers got out of control. Then while outside smoking waiting for rides a regular came out drunk looking for a ride, after asking what the name of the KJ was she runs stumbling back inside only to have what I can only assume to be management and the bouncer come out insisting that we leave or they'd call the cops, even after management had witnessed our frustration and knew the whole situation from the inside. Whether or not the KJ was from an outside company or always works there which I assume he does, it's a direct reflection of the establishment itself and hopefully gets dealt with at some point in the future. Only reason I even give one star is because our waitress was great. Won't be back to this place ever again!!
(1)
Marty L.
Bunch of obnoxious drunks pounding on the counter? No one makes them stop, won't be coming back here ever again. Sucks too cause the food was good. But I suppose it's ok because they are someone cousin of a cousin of the waitress who was a bartender who's dad use to come here.
(1)
J T.
Love this bar! It's local, it's got karaoke, drinks are reasonable - it's fantastic! Happy hour specials are great ! Service is good, the bar is pretty clean, patrons and regulars are friendly and laid back and it's close to home. They even have a beer pong table. I don't sing but I often imagine myself singing and heck, maybe one day I'll find my voice and start singing here,but until then, it's fun to watch others sing- there are a few regulars who sing all the time and they are pretty great! It's a great place to hang with friends.
(4)
Randy G.
I don't know what happened here. Jan was the best bartender ever. Did the place get sold a couple years ago? Definitely not the same atmosphere and not as friendly. It's meh now.
(2)
Phil L.
If I had to guess I would say half the patrons actually went to college. And no one has tried to fight me. Happy crowd and great service!
(4)
Jessica I.
This place is a great "dive" bar. They have fantastic drink prices and the food us really good. They have karaoke a few nights a week. It can be noisy, but always fun.
(4)
Cynthia B.
PCL! My husband and I found our dive bar soon after moving to the area. Looks like a TOTAL dive from the outside, but don't be fooled. Inside it's only a partial dive. Great happy hour prices, decent food, pool tables and shuffle board. There are no windows so you definitely get the Vegas affect there...you can lose a few hours very easily. Haven't been for late night but the karaoke setup looks pretty sweet.
(4)
Kat A.
If you can actually find the entrance into the parking lot for this place, you're set. As I don't get up in that neck of the woods too much (especially when it's dark out), I managed to wind up in the Devry parking lot too many times to admit. Once I actually got there, though, it was great. The drinks were cheap and well-poured, the staff was attentive and friendly, and the karaoke was fantastic. I mean, best karaoke setup I've seen in town. The KJ was awesome, the rotation was well-executed, and the sound system was sweet. After 11 or so, there was a decent amount of dancing interspersed with the karaoke, and that was a blast, too. It might be off the beaten path, but it's totally worth the trip if you're a karaoke fan. The only negatives I experienced were the temperature (it was WARM in there) and the food was a little bland. That being said, a friend had the same sliders I did, and she thought they were outstanding. So, to each their own.
(4)
Nancy F.
This is definitely a "Dive Bar" . Nice crowd with all ages. This is my second visit and checked out the Karaoke this time. Lot of fun. The servers were very friendly, and they had a nice happy hour. 2 for 1, 6-8 daily. I wish they would have a few more taps with some craft beers. They do have a good bottle selection though.
(4)
Kim S.
First, the Happy Hour specials are awesome. I love karaoke and this is a great dive bar for it. The set up for karaoke is great. The bartender, Adrian, is very friendly and keeps them coming. He also doesn't pressure you when you want to slow down or switch to pop. There is also a really nice server, but I didn't get her name. The food is standard bar fare. I'll be back next time I'm in the Denver area.
(4)
Lee L.
Dropped in for the very first time last night to meet up with a friend. Didn't know what to expect besides parking a bit further since the lot was pretty well packed. Upon entering I could see why as the joint was filled with people and seemed pretty darn small. The set-up wasn't too bad as you enter the bars on your left, karaoke in front and pool tables to the right. I wasn't too hungry so I can't comment on their food. Though they do get a couple of points taken due to their selection of beer on tap. At least the prices are reasonable. Otherwise it's your standard dive bar. I might go back again just to see my buddy karaoke but that's probably the only time.
(3)
Nicole C.
I enjoy coming here to hang out with friends. Most of the people singing karaoke aren't so great. I have tried the chicken strip BLT and that deserves about 1 star. (Dry bread, over-fried chicken and far from crunchy bacon. Fries weren't good either.) What I do like about this place is the people and the drinks. Blue Moon on tap and a delicious French martini. I would never come here alone or on a date but with a group of friends for drinks it's a good neighborhood bar.
(3)
Monica I.
It's a dive bar, but a good one. I've been going to PCL off and on for eight years and I've always had a decent time. If I was a karaoke fan I'd probably give it a better rating, but I'm the opposite of that. It was bad when smoking was allowed, but it's much better now because the air is breathable. Still, like an old Vegas casino, it still "feels" smoky in there somehow. They don't have a good selection of beers on tap, but they have a full bar. The prices are always very good. You won't get anything fancy, so just order something simple if you want it done correctly. It's very much a neighborhood bar, and if you're looking for the rougher edges of north Denver then you can find them here. One thing that this end of town lacks is bars that have been around a long time and have some history. If you want a bar with a more local feel, PCL is one of the only choices in this area. Do they sell food? I don't even know. You can play a game of pool and listen to someone screeching on a microphone for pretty cheap. And I guess if that's what you're after then you'll find it at PCL.
(3)
Michael M.
I love this place. We've been coming for over half a year every Saturday night to sing karaoke. They have Karaoke every night! A bar with the accompanying atmosphere but also great dive food and specials. Come for the value, stay 'cause you're seeing double. And most of the local ladies are 'real'. Seriously.
(5)
Nikk H.
Wow....just.... wow. So last night was my first night here. Its a really cool dive bar, in theory. There are 2 pool tables, beer pong table, and some shuffle board lookin thing. Its a nice set up. But we went for the Monday night karaoke people have talked about. There were probably 15 people there besides us, yet for some reason it took the KJ 2 hours to let me and my friends sing.... wtf? Well come to realize, one of the tables is a group of her friends and she just kept putting them at the top of the rotation. We had been there for 45 mins and some chick walks in, 10 mins later shes singing the song I put in an hour before. I went up and talked to her about it and she's like, no she's been here. I told her there are only 15 people in the bar and she just showed up, plus all her friends had already sang 4 times. She told me I would be up soon. I wasn't up for another hour.This KJ SUUUUUCKS! And she plays a whole song in between karaoke songs so it takes forever to go through the rotation. Its a cool place. Nice bartender and waitress, but if you are looking for karaoke, DO NOT GO HERE!!!!! Unless of course you're in with the rude KJ.
(1)
Travis W.
IF you are a karaoke fan like i am...this is your North Metro Denver Mecca...seriously. Monday-Sunday, karaoke. Their system is completely computerized. If they don't have it, they can find it and maybe even get it for you. I have a BLAST everytime I am here.
(4)
Patrick M.
PCL is the bedrock of local dive bars. Only Bud Light on tap but it is ok because it is cheap. A pool table or shuffleboard to distract you. They make cheap bar food. While not great, the value proposition is strong. If you are looking for a heads down bar with no windows, why not? What I dislike is the constant karaoke. I think they run it every night. I know it is a draw, but I have to have a running start on the pitchers to put up with it for hours. I would not take a first date here.
(4)
Michael F.
Food is good, customers and staff are nice, prices are cheap and karaoke is a hit. Don't go here if you are looking for a fancy place, but it is good if you are solo. There are some pool tables too. I moved away from the Westminster area and this is the place I miss the most.
(5)
Sturm B.
Now, understand that I gave PCL five stars because it is as good as it gets at being what it is. Park Center Lounge is the quintessential suburban dive bar. Many of the regulars haven't been sober since the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal. Every chair comes equipped with copious wads of gum stuck to the bottom. If you spit tobacco on the floor, there would be a clean spot. If you are really hard up.... and I mean the kind of hard up that only comes from prison or a solo trip to one of the poles, there are always several friendly "women" there who will be impressed by your ability to read. I personally stick to bottled beer since I swear I can hear the muffled cries of a health dept. officer coming from the back, and so don't trust their glassware.
Takes Reservations : Yes Delivery : No Take-out : Yes Accepts Credit Cards : Yes Good For : Late Night Parking : Private Lot Bike Parking : Yes Wheelchair Accessible : Yes Good for Kids : No Good for Groups : Yes Attire : Casual Ambience : Divey Noise Level : Very Loud Music : DJ, Juke Box Good For Dancing : No Alcohol : Full Bar Happy Hour : Yes Best Nights : Thu, Fri, Sat Coat Check : No Smoking : Outdoor Area/ Patio Only Outdoor Seating : No Wi-Fi : Free Has TV : Yes Dogs Allowed : No Waiter Service : Yes Drive-Thru : No Caters : No
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Rebecca Louise G.
Fun bar with a solid presence of locals that were welcoming of strangers and a solid, friendly staff. We came in a group of about 15 people that doubled the happy hour crowd and the staff handled everything with aplomb. Left before the Karaoke because when I want to hear someone sing, I prefer they know how to do it.
(4)Meredith K.
Food waitress is (somewhat) attentive... Karaoke, while the sound is pretty good, really sucks. KJ plays way too many break songs. Takes almost double the time what it should to make it through a list. We've been here since 9 pm. It's now 11, and we are nowhere close to singing. I get it, karaoke, quit bitchin'. But, c'mon. Friends just posted about another place 10 miles away. We are leaving, and will still get to sing there quicker. We won't be back.
(1)Lisa P.
Went in about 6:30 stated we were here for karaoke and was suppose to start at 8 About 815 I asked what was going on and the same waitress said they had issues last night and couldn't even have karaoke..REALLY....should have been.told this when we first got there By 850 still no karaoke..left to go to a different place. Ugh
(1)Beth G.
Awesome DJ Mike. The songs between the singers are the best thing since sliced bread. Great food 'N drinks.
(5)Jbcl12 G.
I've been going to this bar for 20 some years. We have seen all the changes through the years. This at one point was our absolute favorite place to hang out when we had time. When they changed the beers to micro it completely changed. This bar is trying to be something it is not and a micro brewery bar it isn't. Bud light and Coors light should always be your mainstays on tap due to the crowd you attract. Plus the prices have become outrageous to where we can only have one or two and have to leave. There are about 20 of us that called PCL home for years and now none of our friends want to go there anymore. Get back to what got you there, you are who you are, stop trying to be Baker street. Love the new décor and menu, but the golf game should be back and the staff should be more attentive. Like it use to be. Once you get back to that, we will return, until then farewell my friends your losing more than you are gaining running this place. No more domestic on tap?? prices too high, your clientele is taking a huge hit.
(2)Sheila D.
Don't go to Parke Center Lounge for karaoke. The DJ puts his buddies ahead in line over and over and plays 2-3 'dance songs' between each person who's going to sing. Even when no one is dancing. What a waste of my time, energy and money. Unless you like being treated a second class citizen, then by all means go. We noticed after an hour that my name had somehow disappeared from the list and I told him and he added it, above some, but close to the bottom. I don't think I'd have gotten up there by 2 am when they close. Also, he's so into himself that he sang be times in the 3rd ours we were there. The food was good, waitress and drinks good. The owner needs to rethink his DJ choice for karaoke. Especially on a crazy busy night like Halloween. I'll find somewhere else to spend my money.
(1)Jonathon B.
Came for Karaoke. The KJ plays WAY too many videos. Waits are double or triple what they should be, stretching into an unacceptable 2+ hours to sing. I came to sing, and watch others sing. I can stay home and watch videos on YouTube.
(2)John W.
Great sound system for the karaoke. Also the most songs available for singing of any karaoke place I have ever been in. Karaoke is best on the weekends -IMHO. Food is decent for a "dive" bar. Service is slow once it gets busy as they don't have enough wait staff. Friendly staff and patrons. Mixed crowd of all ages, types and backgrounds. I really like this place and I think you will too.
(4)Manny C.
I really have no idea why some folks refer to it as a dive bar??? It's very clean & lite well and an adults clientele, with a full menu of Mex & Amer food. Lot's of TV's for the Bronco game and has a great friendly staff. Prices for food and drink are very competitive. Been a customer off and on for some 12 years and one of my favorite lounges to watch the Bronks, altho if you try singing at their Karaoke time, they have their favorites (Customers they know personally and who have 1st crack at singing)...
(4)Sean R.
One of the worst experiences I've ever had going out or witnessed, and this is including 10 years of customer service experience as a bartender, a server, and now a medical professional. Went out to this bar to celebrate a coworkers birthday, and by the end of the night felt completely disrespected. Bought numerous drinks and appetizers, had friends waiting all night to sing karaoke only to witness their numerous what I assume to be locals called up singing song after song. Not exactly a super crowded bar on a Monday night, we just ignored the fact we had been ignored by the KJ all night until the end of the evening when a buddy had yelled to the KJ behind the bar "thanks for skipping us all night" to which the KJ named Mikey replied "I'll f*** you all up". Being with a group of 3 guys and 3 girls, all three of us guys obviously weren't exactly happy so we started mouthing off to the KJ. Bouncer came over to calm us down in which we explained the situation only to have the bouncer and KJ laughing behind the bar about the situation, then when calling out the bouncer again about not taking the situation seriously, we had the KJ flick us off in the process behind the DJ booth. At that point we tabbed out and left after to diffuse the whole situation before tempers got out of control. Then while outside smoking waiting for rides a regular came out drunk looking for a ride, after asking what the name of the KJ was she runs stumbling back inside only to have what I can only assume to be management and the bouncer come out insisting that we leave or they'd call the cops, even after management had witnessed our frustration and knew the whole situation from the inside. Whether or not the KJ was from an outside company or always works there which I assume he does, it's a direct reflection of the establishment itself and hopefully gets dealt with at some point in the future. Only reason I even give one star is because our waitress was great. Won't be back to this place ever again!!
(1)Marty L.
Bunch of obnoxious drunks pounding on the counter? No one makes them stop, won't be coming back here ever again. Sucks too cause the food was good. But I suppose it's ok because they are someone cousin of a cousin of the waitress who was a bartender who's dad use to come here.
(1)J T.
Love this bar! It's local, it's got karaoke, drinks are reasonable - it's fantastic! Happy hour specials are great ! Service is good, the bar is pretty clean, patrons and regulars are friendly and laid back and it's close to home. They even have a beer pong table. I don't sing but I often imagine myself singing and heck, maybe one day I'll find my voice and start singing here,but until then, it's fun to watch others sing- there are a few regulars who sing all the time and they are pretty great! It's a great place to hang with friends.
(4)Randy G.
I don't know what happened here. Jan was the best bartender ever. Did the place get sold a couple years ago? Definitely not the same atmosphere and not as friendly. It's meh now.
(2)Phil L.
If I had to guess I would say half the patrons actually went to college. And no one has tried to fight me. Happy crowd and great service!
(4)Jessica I.
This place is a great "dive" bar. They have fantastic drink prices and the food us really good. They have karaoke a few nights a week. It can be noisy, but always fun.
(4)Cynthia B.
PCL! My husband and I found our dive bar soon after moving to the area. Looks like a TOTAL dive from the outside, but don't be fooled. Inside it's only a partial dive. Great happy hour prices, decent food, pool tables and shuffle board. There are no windows so you definitely get the Vegas affect there...you can lose a few hours very easily. Haven't been for late night but the karaoke setup looks pretty sweet.
(4)Kat A.
If you can actually find the entrance into the parking lot for this place, you're set. As I don't get up in that neck of the woods too much (especially when it's dark out), I managed to wind up in the Devry parking lot too many times to admit. Once I actually got there, though, it was great. The drinks were cheap and well-poured, the staff was attentive and friendly, and the karaoke was fantastic. I mean, best karaoke setup I've seen in town. The KJ was awesome, the rotation was well-executed, and the sound system was sweet. After 11 or so, there was a decent amount of dancing interspersed with the karaoke, and that was a blast, too. It might be off the beaten path, but it's totally worth the trip if you're a karaoke fan. The only negatives I experienced were the temperature (it was WARM in there) and the food was a little bland. That being said, a friend had the same sliders I did, and she thought they were outstanding. So, to each their own.
(4)Nancy F.
This is definitely a "Dive Bar" . Nice crowd with all ages. This is my second visit and checked out the Karaoke this time. Lot of fun. The servers were very friendly, and they had a nice happy hour. 2 for 1, 6-8 daily. I wish they would have a few more taps with some craft beers. They do have a good bottle selection though.
(4)Kim S.
First, the Happy Hour specials are awesome. I love karaoke and this is a great dive bar for it. The set up for karaoke is great. The bartender, Adrian, is very friendly and keeps them coming. He also doesn't pressure you when you want to slow down or switch to pop. There is also a really nice server, but I didn't get her name. The food is standard bar fare. I'll be back next time I'm in the Denver area.
(4)Lee L.
Dropped in for the very first time last night to meet up with a friend. Didn't know what to expect besides parking a bit further since the lot was pretty well packed. Upon entering I could see why as the joint was filled with people and seemed pretty darn small. The set-up wasn't too bad as you enter the bars on your left, karaoke in front and pool tables to the right. I wasn't too hungry so I can't comment on their food. Though they do get a couple of points taken due to their selection of beer on tap. At least the prices are reasonable. Otherwise it's your standard dive bar. I might go back again just to see my buddy karaoke but that's probably the only time.
(3)Nicole C.
I enjoy coming here to hang out with friends. Most of the people singing karaoke aren't so great. I have tried the chicken strip BLT and that deserves about 1 star. (Dry bread, over-fried chicken and far from crunchy bacon. Fries weren't good either.) What I do like about this place is the people and the drinks. Blue Moon on tap and a delicious French martini. I would never come here alone or on a date but with a group of friends for drinks it's a good neighborhood bar.
(3)Monica I.
It's a dive bar, but a good one. I've been going to PCL off and on for eight years and I've always had a decent time. If I was a karaoke fan I'd probably give it a better rating, but I'm the opposite of that. It was bad when smoking was allowed, but it's much better now because the air is breathable. Still, like an old Vegas casino, it still "feels" smoky in there somehow. They don't have a good selection of beers on tap, but they have a full bar. The prices are always very good. You won't get anything fancy, so just order something simple if you want it done correctly. It's very much a neighborhood bar, and if you're looking for the rougher edges of north Denver then you can find them here. One thing that this end of town lacks is bars that have been around a long time and have some history. If you want a bar with a more local feel, PCL is one of the only choices in this area. Do they sell food? I don't even know. You can play a game of pool and listen to someone screeching on a microphone for pretty cheap. And I guess if that's what you're after then you'll find it at PCL.
(3)Michael M.
I love this place. We've been coming for over half a year every Saturday night to sing karaoke. They have Karaoke every night! A bar with the accompanying atmosphere but also great dive food and specials. Come for the value, stay 'cause you're seeing double. And most of the local ladies are 'real'. Seriously.
(5)Nikk H.
Wow....just.... wow. So last night was my first night here. Its a really cool dive bar, in theory. There are 2 pool tables, beer pong table, and some shuffle board lookin thing. Its a nice set up. But we went for the Monday night karaoke people have talked about. There were probably 15 people there besides us, yet for some reason it took the KJ 2 hours to let me and my friends sing.... wtf? Well come to realize, one of the tables is a group of her friends and she just kept putting them at the top of the rotation. We had been there for 45 mins and some chick walks in, 10 mins later shes singing the song I put in an hour before. I went up and talked to her about it and she's like, no she's been here. I told her there are only 15 people in the bar and she just showed up, plus all her friends had already sang 4 times. She told me I would be up soon. I wasn't up for another hour.This KJ SUUUUUCKS! And she plays a whole song in between karaoke songs so it takes forever to go through the rotation. Its a cool place. Nice bartender and waitress, but if you are looking for karaoke, DO NOT GO HERE!!!!! Unless of course you're in with the rude KJ.
(1)Travis W.
IF you are a karaoke fan like i am...this is your North Metro Denver Mecca...seriously. Monday-Sunday, karaoke. Their system is completely computerized. If they don't have it, they can find it and maybe even get it for you. I have a BLAST everytime I am here.
(4)Patrick M.
PCL is the bedrock of local dive bars. Only Bud Light on tap but it is ok because it is cheap. A pool table or shuffleboard to distract you. They make cheap bar food. While not great, the value proposition is strong. If you are looking for a heads down bar with no windows, why not? What I dislike is the constant karaoke. I think they run it every night. I know it is a draw, but I have to have a running start on the pitchers to put up with it for hours. I would not take a first date here.
(4)Michael F.
Food is good, customers and staff are nice, prices are cheap and karaoke is a hit. Don't go here if you are looking for a fancy place, but it is good if you are solo. There are some pool tables too. I moved away from the Westminster area and this is the place I miss the most.
(5)Sturm B.
Now, understand that I gave PCL five stars because it is as good as it gets at being what it is. Park Center Lounge is the quintessential suburban dive bar. Many of the regulars haven't been sober since the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal. Every chair comes equipped with copious wads of gum stuck to the bottom. If you spit tobacco on the floor, there would be a clean spot. If you are really hard up.... and I mean the kind of hard up that only comes from prison or a solo trip to one of the poles, there are always several friendly "women" there who will be impressed by your ability to read. I personally stick to bottled beer since I swear I can hear the muffled cries of a health dept. officer coming from the back, and so don't trust their glassware.
(5)